OOH NO SHE BETTA DON’T!

GIRRRRR, last night’s episode was on point! Or stilts, if you’re Ivy Winters.

It’s only the second episode of the season and these girls have come harder than we’ve ever seen.

This week was all about the art of the lipsync, kicking off with a mini-challenge not for the faint of DSL’s. Ru had the girls put their lips through a RuPaul-themed glory hole and LSFYL to three of her hits – Tranny Chaser, Ladyboy, and Peanutpeanutpeanutpeanutpeanutbutter.

Serena, Ivy and Detox won the mini challenge and each picked three different teams for the main challenge. That’s when Ru blessed us with one of the most genius challenges yet:  the girls had to recreate iconic scenes from Untucked by playing former RPDR royalty and lipsyncing to spoken word.

Vivienne and Lineysha brought it as Tatianna and Tyra (respectively) in the wedding dress challenge (why you tawkin?!), while Coco Montrese revived the only good thing Lashauwn Beyond ever did, and reminded us that this is not Rupaul’s Best Friend Race.

The secret star of the main challenge was Roxxxy, who could have been Mariah Paris Balenciaga and you’d never even know it wasn’t the real her, while Alyssa and Jinkx KILLED it as Shangela and Mimi Imfurst.

Alaska and Detox’s recreation of the infamous Phi Phi vs Sharon Untucked fight also had us gagging, with Alaska looking like an over-baked, messier Snooki…so…basically an exact replica of PhiPhi. We wish her voice had the capacity to squeal ten octaves higher like PhiPhi’s, but she still turned it.

THE RUNWAY
On the runway, everyone but Serena ChaCha turned it out. The real stars of this runway were the guest judges, Kristen Johnston and Juliette Lewis. The highlight was when Kristen READ Santino to Jujubee levels of filth at the judge’s table.

The “YAAAASSS”

Roxxxy
Certainly we weren’t the only ones who were oddly turned on….right? We were living for this sexy, juicy couture (cooter if you’re adventurous). Santos wants to call her Chewbaca…which is ironic because we were pretty sure he was James Earl Jones’s understudy in his Vader days.

Ivy
Serving STILTettos for days, Ivy had our jaws on the floor with her outfit. Truth be told, Ivy is an artist – between her fire breathing, stilts and other wacky pieces we’ve seen from her, we think she has the talent to go far in this competition. Not to mention, she is one of the nicest drag queens like..ever. Between Ivy and Jade, this runway was a full ring circus.

Jade Jolie
There’s only two types of people in the world: the sickening, and the Serena Chachas. Jade Jolie is one of the former.

We’re pretty sure that she snatched this out of Britney’s closet while B was at Starbucks. All we can say is…can we have one in Martin’s size?

Jinkx Monsoon 
We just love Seattle’s youngest MILF. We love her energy and her personality. As friend of J&M, White Chocolate Drizzle, said, Jinkx Monsoon gave us some Fifth Element rullness this week. We live!

Like…no

Serena Chacha
You could go parachuting in those abuelita panties.

Monica Beverly Hillz
We’re glad Monica got this out of the clearance section from the Ricky’s Halloween store before they closed for the year.

Honey Mahogany
Florence Henderson, what are you doing here and what’s wrong with your boobs?

When it came down to it, Monica Beverly Hillz was read for not bringing the ghetto attitude everyone remembers from Jiggly Caliente, and she confessed her deepest secret in a highly emotional moment, and what we were all expecting from this queen: she’s a transgendered woman.

After Ru reminded Monica that at the end of the day she is in the competition because she is fierce, Monica brought the house down in the LSFYL against Serena ChaCha. Everyone can direct their thank you notes directly to Monica Beverly Hillz for finally sending that little rugrat home.

We have to say, after this week, it really is anybody’s game. These queens brought it, and all have talent in their own right. As Coco Montrese reminded Serena in Untucked, these queens don’t have time for little boys, and they will eat them alive.

It’s still early, but we’re dying to know…who’s in your top three right now?

And the Winner Is…..

by [J]ustin and [M]artin

RuPaul’s Drag Race reached a hotly-anticipated climax last night, putting the final nail in the coffin this season by crowning the one, the only SHARON NEEDLES as the winner.

Our séances have been answered.

Before we get to that, let’s go through our top moments from the first ever nationally televised drag queen variety hour, shall we?

Once we got back from getting drinks after what’s her face with the fly swatter was done talking, Lashauwn Beyond and the Princess threw some serious shade at the other queens and what they described as poor runway presentations.

Madame La Queer went into a rant about the direct correlation between being picked last in gym class (and the work room) and being a maid of honor.

Jiggly’s brother is apparently making a donation to the Jiggly Caliente Disaster Relief fund by buying her sewing lessons. As best summed up by a friend of J&M:

Finally, we get to the question we’ve been asking for months. What did Willam do?

The answer? She was getting it on with her husband at the hotel room while the show was being taped.

Really? That’s it? That’s why one of the most controversial and vivacious contestants in this show’s herstory was kicked off? That’s why we never saw this season’s heathers land in the top 4 (we’re talking about Willam, Latrice, Sharon and Chad obviously)?

That’s just RudePaul.

Up until this point in the episode, the banter had generally been a love fest, with a splash of good ‘ol queen-to-queen reading. Mostly harmless. But that’s not what we all tuned into the reunion for, was it? No. We want some drams (and to find out what Willam did/watch Latrice win Miss Congeniality/find out who won the damn competition).

When Sharon and Phi Phi were asked why they hated each other on the show, Sharon had no problem explaining her sentiments, most of which lined up with those of the viewers of this show – Phi Phi had no redeeming qualities for her behavior.

Phi Phi’s response was some poor excuse about how she felt as though Sharon talked down to her for most of the season. Of course, she followed it up with some bs about how she still loves and respects Sharon and blah blah blah blah blah.

That’s when Queen Willam sneezed out a big ol’ “BULLSHIT”

God bless her and God, bless her.

Willam followed this up with “I’m an egomaniac. Everybody knows that. But like….she should be studied down there. It’s almost sociopathic…”

And guess what….

She’s not rupologizing

There is a moment afterwards in which Phi Phi is giving Willam the death stare while Willam just sits there, chewing her gum, snapping her head forward, as if to say “sorry bout it, bitch.”

Consider us diehard Willam stans. Consider it our life goal to hit up a Greater Los Angeles Chick-Fil-A with Willam for waffle fries and lessons on how to properly put down heinous queens without even moving your lips.

We’ll be waiting for your call, Belli.

It was so funny for us to watch Phi Phi sitting with the top 3, all the while queens like Willam and Latrice were stealing the show.

Speaking of our favorite chunky yet funky queen, Latrice very deservedly won the Miss Congeniality award, leaving us with one final matter of business: the coronation.

After an amazing season of fake blood, ghoulish contacts, fierce fish and unparalleled wit, Sharon Needles was crowned winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Check out the crowd reaction at the official viewing party in NYC:

To be quite honest, the amount of things that we had to cover in this hour special seemed to burst at the seams – several moments we had been anxiously waiting for felt significantly more rushed than in the past, downplaying moments like Latrice’s fan favorite award. But overall, this was a great conclusion to a great season.

“When in doubt, freak ’em out” – Sharon Needles, America’s Next Drag Superstar

Thanks to everyone who has kept up with the show on our blog, LSFYL and F Yeah RPDR Tumblrs for the gifs, as well as the queens who kept us intrigued week after week.

We’ll see you gurls in the Fall for RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars!

Check back for a post about the finale party

Conde NASTY!

Dragazines!

by [J]ustin and [M]artin

Welcome back ladies and lady boys! We hope you enjoyed our chat with Chad Michaels! We definitely had a fantastic time talking to him and it made us only more excited to see what the rest of this season will bring. This week, Ru opened the library once again for the greatest mini challenge in modern drag history: the reading challenge. This challenge was way past due and we were pumped to see this particular cast read each other to filth.

Right off the bat, we have to say that these queens were sooooo much better than last year’s, and rivaled the readings of season 2. Let’s go down the line and recap everyone’s best read, shall we?

Dida Ritz: Latrice Royale. You’re free now. You don’t have to keep rocking the yard sandals anymore. Jiggly Caliente: Willam honey. Yo face looks like it’s made outta marble, sh*t don’t move. Phi Phi O’hara…Flop. The true highlight of the mini challenge came when Phi Phi’s feeble attempt to read Sharon (something about party city) and Sharon cut her off and said “It’s where I got your Lady Gaga wig”. Genius.
Willam: Phi Phi you are gorgeous. You catch the camera’s eye from the right. But from the left you SNAG it. Chad Michaels: Jiggly. I love you. Come to mother dust. I won’t hurt you. Come. Here’s my dentist card. USE IT. Latrice Royale: Jiggly Caliente. BMW. Body. Made. Wrong. Sharon Needles:  Jiggly Caliente. You’re such a fat slut, after sex you smoke HAMS.

RuPaul closed the library and, in sum….
No surprise there.

For the main challenge, the girls had to channel their inner Miranda Priestly and become editor in chief of their own dragazine. Latrice, who won the mini challenge, assigned the girls their magazine titles.
She gave Sharon a kitten magazine, Dida a fried chicken magazin, Queefy a travel magazine, Jiggly a fitness magazine (lol!), Willam an interior decorating magazine, Chad a fashion magazine, and took the gossip magazine for herself. Confused by (life and) whether or not she should take the comedy or serious route,  shady ass Queefy O’Haga convinced her to go for serious, later confessing to Willam that she suggested it because she knew Jiggles would fail.

Congratulations, Phi Phi. You remain a horrible human being and rely on screwing your friends over to get to the top. Because, you know, you couldn’t rely on the endless amounts of talent you claim to possess.

No t, no shade, but this challenge was kind of a fail for everyone. When Ru made his rounds in the workroom he was not impressed with anyone’s magazine cover. The girls took photos with a photographer that looked straight out of a porn movie before hitting the main stage to show off their dragazine covers.

Sharon perched herself on top of a scratching pole, Willam got naked, Latrice got lucky, and Jiggly couldn’t remember where she was.

Flawless queen, tbh.

The Runway

Gagging over Ru, as per usual. Sharon looked flawless in a black and white evening gown, twisting her hourglass figure down the runway in nothing short of perfection. Her kitty cat dragazine cover was sexy, hilairous, and had the judges meowing Dida looks elegant in this shimmering dress. It’s good enough to make her safe this week. Michele called her out for needing more volume. Can’t say we disagree. We love her attitude and her spirit but she needs to find a way to stand out, especially now that she’s the only one left who hasn’t won a main challenge.

Chad Michaels owned everything this week. The short blonde hair and black rock n roll garb pummeled the other girls to the sidelines, proving once again that she’s the gold standard. The judges didn’t love his dragazine cover, though.

Latrice Royale’s makeup is to die for and she looks gorgeous. We’re not crazy about the dress though.

Willam came out in a neglige…and not much else. As we later learn, she wasn’t wearing any panties. Oops. And the judges didn’t love his “boring, hypersexual” dragazine cover either.

Jiggly wore another Pikachu yellow dress down the runway. She was read by the judges for not making her fitness cover more comical. Queefy officially succeeded.

Cute outfit. Phi Phi finally managed to wear an ensemble that doesn’t reflect her heinous insides…

When it came to the judges decisions, Phi Phi was announced as the winner of her first (and hopefully last) challenge, while Jiggly and Willam fell into the bottom two. The girls had to LSFYL to guest judge Pam Tillis’s “My Vida Loca.”

In terms of energy, the genre didn’t have quite the same energy as “Vogue” or “Born This Way,” but the goal of the LSFYL isn’t to do cartwheels and splits. It’s to embody the song and play on the illusion that a female impersonator is creating.

Willam understood that and, in the words of Sharon Needles, she looked like a young country pop star.

Jiggly got an B+ for effort and Willam flashed the judges. Ultimately, JIggly got sent home and Willam lives to rub her resume in everyone’s faces another day.

Now, we’re sure Jiggly is a lovely girl, but it’s about time that she got sent home. It says a lot (kind of) when even your shady, conniving “friend” in the competition thinks you should have been sent home a while ago.

Guess what. It’s official, gurls. The competition is REALLY on now. These next episodes will be somethin’ fierce.

Float Your Boat Untucked: The Shade of it All

Following the drama on the runway, we were subject to even more drama in the Interior Illusions Lounge during Untucked.

The girls were sent to the Gold Bar to find guest judge Kelly Osbourne waiting for them (Is her tiara made of bullets?…ok good) to ask some questions and get the girls going. Aside from being totally lesBIONIC and asking the girls who among each other they’d go for, Kelly asked the queens who the biggest bitch was. Perhaps we should reconsider Latrice’s B.I.T.C.H. acronym (Being In Total Control of Herself).

[photo source: FBQ Blog]

Not one to lie, Latrice confirms what we all know, that Phi Phi is the bitch of the bunch and everyone hates her and that she won’t have a single fan when this show is over….OK we got a little carried away, she didn’t say all that, but she called out Queefy none the less. Phi Phi countered by saying she isn’t a “bitch” she’s just “honest” and “real”. Call it whatever you want Queefy, no one LIKES YOU!

Then the real padrama party of this Untucked went down when the girls were invited to open their big pink box to find a note from the already-eliminated stank face, Kenya Michaels. Now, we didn’t have a big problem with Kenya Michaels before now, but it’s just never cute when 5 year olds throw tantrums, even in letters. Kenya complimented Phi Phi, saying that they’ll be best friends for life and reminding her to remember the makeup tips she taught. You know, since her makeup is better than all the other queens, which is why she’s still around and Chad, Sharon, Latrice, and Willam have been kicked off already…

After complimenting stank face number 1, Kenya proceeds to throw shade at all of the girls. We don’t know about you but we felt personally attacked by her letter. She called out Jigglypuff, saying she should have gone home week 1 and that this isn’t a drag school, then told Sharon that if her “girl” look were as good as her “spooky” look she’d win the whole competition. Sharon continued to be unpressed. Willam was called out for having a man face, and while we don’t disagree with this, at least Willam has a grownup sized body. Finally, Kenya insulted Dida’s (adorable) teddy bear dress from last week, saying she’d better burn it after this competition, after previously complimenting and calling it cute. We understand that you have a language barrier Kenya, but there are just some things that you’d better have the balls (or in your case, ovaries) to say to the other queens’ faces. Feel free to remain eliminated.

T-Girls Gone Wild

A brief history of the dragiverse.

by [J]ustin and [M]artin

This week on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Ru gave the queens a little break…a SPRING break, that is. But not without sending them off with a little history homework, because this episode is all about remembering why we celebrate pride.

Not only did the queens bust out their ROYGBIV, but we were joined by extra special guests Pauly Perrette and Kelly “I live to take cheap shots at Christina Aguilera” Osbourne.

But first, the girls discussed Kenya’s departure. Phi Phi attempted to emote by telling us just how sad she was that Keyna was eliminated. Apparently they were best friends….because we all know that the only way for anyone to tolerate Phi Phi O’Hara is for there to be some kind of a language barrier. We assume this friendship was forged on a mutual inability to break stank face.

For this week’s mini challenge, Ru had the girls slap on some breast plates and soak up some spring break realness to the tune of Ru’s “Sexy Drag Queen” in a wet tshirt contest outside the RPDR studio.
Obviously Latrice, Chad and Willam tore this challenge apart.
And obviously we found ourselves pointing and laughing at Queefy O’Hara as both her breast plate and wig fell off, exposing the man underneath. Not surprised. Pull the layers back on this bitch and you’re left with nothing.
Willam won the challenge because, well, she’s a slut. Snaps for you, hunty.

Back in the workroom, Ru gave the girls a little history lesson on gay pride. For those of you who didn’t know (we’re looking at you, Jiggles), pride and the gay rights movement began at Stonewall in New York City, where a drag queen cast the first defiant stone that ended in a massive anti-establishment riot.

To honor that drag queen who had the Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent, Ru had the girls create their very own pride floats for the main challenge.

After winning the mini-challenge, Willam was tasked with assigning a different color of the rainbow to each of the queens for their floats:

Dida
Chad
Jiggly
Milan
Sharon
Latrice
Willam
Phi Phi

The girls began assembling their floats as they reflected on the Stonewall Riots. Jigglypuff, one of the two NYC queens, admitted to performing at Stonewall but knowing nothing about the history of the landmark.
Ru came into the workroom to get a sense of how everyone’s progress was coming. When he asked Jiggles what her concept was, her response was:
“*gaping mouth*………………….*gaping mouth*……….dreams are…….*gaping mouth*……possible.”

Willam annoyed everyone in the workroom with her cockiness (I love it) and Phi Phi continued to shower everyone with love, kindness and positivity (JUST KIDDING).

The Runway
Your favorites could never.

Chad brought out some showgirl drag and made everyone from Alexis “I can’t stop smiling” Mateo to Queefy O’Hara reevaluate their choices. Her float was pretty cute, too.

Dida looked adorbs in her red harem pants, but there was something about that shirt that looked like it was made by a 5 year old. Dida has a fantastic personality and she is creative as hell, but she’s missing that extra 2%. We think it’s a lack of polish, to be honest.

This queen is tragic. We don’t think she’s ever heard the expression “less is more,” and if she has, we’re sure she considers it to be an SAT-worthy concept.

Milan’s float boat looked like Big Bird had an abortion at sea. We get what she was going for, but the execution wasn’t cute.

F-L-A-W-L-E-S-S. We can’t get over how good her makeup looked. We have to hand it to her – last night at Boxers she admitted to absolutely hating the color green, but she took the idea of green as a representation of being “earthy,” (which she also admitted wasn’t a trait of hers) and ran with it.

Latrice never disappoints. Bitch always looks fierce. But we have to wonder what else she can bring. Sharon and Chad have shown us several dimensions of themselves, but Latrice has done similar looks every week. Granted, she does them well. But we don’t think we’re out of line for saying that we want more.

Willam sashayed down the runway wearing Carrie Bradshaw’s indigo blue Dolce and Gabbana coat (we can’t stop gagging over the eleganza). Unlike Carrie, she managed to maintain poise in a float that was littered with stickers of her face. She looked good and we fully support her winning this week’s challenge.

Queefy looked good here. She listened when Ru said that she needed to turn up the heat.

When it came time to LSFYL it was not surprising that the two kindergarten boats didn’t stay afloat, and Jigglypuff went up against Milan to Gaga’s gay pride anthem “Born This Way.”

Neither of these queens were strangers to lipsyncing for their lives. Needless to say, they both turned it out every time they were on the chopping block, so we knew this would be a great show.

But seeing as how Milan was in the bottom two for the third time in a row, we didn’t have high hopes for her.

Jiggly turned it out once again and tore Milan apart. Meanwhile, Milan was busy tearing off her wig and clothes. This is something we just never understand. Which unit in “Drag 101” teaches queens that the best thing to do in a drag show is to get out of drag?

Never. That’s when.

Milan was sent sashaying, and Jiggly lives to sing another day.
Based on quality, we have to say that Milan is easily superior to Jiggles-and-bits. We sincerely love just about all of these queens (save Queefy) for one reason or another. But we are well beyond over Jiggly’s inability to keep up with the other contestants.

Jiggly wants us to know that she will take every single queen in her way down. We get it, she thinks she’s a boss because she sent two girls home. But perhaps she should be thinking more about the fact that the likes of Latrice and Chad have never been close to the bottom two. She should try sending them home, then maybe we’ll take her seriously.

We’re Goin on Spring Break Y’all

by [J]ustin

Happy Monday Ladyboys!

As we gear up for yet another fantastic episode of Drag Race filled with Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent. This week, Ru starts off by taking the ladies down to Dragtona Beach for the mini challenge and an all American Spring Break classic wet t-shirt contest.

For the main challenge, the girls have to create miniature, boat shaped parade floats for the first ever RuPaul’s Drag Race Pride Parade

We’re super pumped for this challenge, as its really the first time this season the girls have to create something to showcase their personalities that isn’t entirely based on their look, and it’ll be interesting to see if their creations are anything like their looks from the first episode…

But let’s hope not.

Tune in tonight divas and see who’ll be smooth-sailing and who will be left shipwrecked!

Yes Ru, We’ll Take “Serving Trout” for 500

Survey Says….It’s Time For The Snatch Game!

by [J]ustin and [M]artin
After some technical difficulties, we are back to SNATCH some wigs back.

Keeping with RuPaul’s Drag Race tradition, the Snatch Game served up some SEVERE drag queen impersonation realness. And we must say, last night’s episode proved to be one of the best yet.

The girls started by recounting last week’s lipsync. Kenya rambled in Spanish about the trials and tribulations of puberty, and it seems as though her newfound journey into womanhood proves to be too much for her, as she can’t seem to keep her eyes open or her mouth from gaping. She snaps her fingers and rambles some more.

As with every Snatch Game episode, the mini challenge played up on some of the best game show camp TV has seen since the 70s, drawing serious inspiration from a slop of Game Show Network favorites. The prize? A Skype call home!

Phi Phi managed to win it by carrying 3 eggs between her legs and laying them like a chicken in a nest. With most of her muscles working to maintain her perpetual look of stank face, we’re surprised that she manages to remain continent, much less keep eggs between her legs.
That was when Phi Phi pulled out her best “nice, decent human being” realness and gave her phone call to Chad, who was able to Skype his partner on their eighth anniversary (D’AWWWW).

That’s when Ru announced the challenge all the girls had been waiting for…

THE SNATCH GAME!!

Here’s what the cast looked like:
Sharon Needles as Michelle Visage
Milan as Diana Ross
Willam as Jessica Simpson
Latrice Royale as Aretha Franklin
Jiggly Caliente as Snooki
Phi Phi O’Hara as Lady GaGa
Dida Ritz as Wendy Williams
Kenya Michaels as Beyonce
Chad Michaels as Cher

Let’s not beat around the bush here, Chad won this challenge the moment she was cast for the show. While judges like Michelle Visage pointed out how Chad bringing Cher to the Snatch Game might be considered “safe,” it was guest judge (and ineffable funny man) Ross Mathews who pointed out that it was a RISK to go in it with the thing she is best known for. Imagine if she had lost this challenge and how embarrassing that would be for THE professional Cher impersonator.

But losing was not an option for Chad. Her perfect mannerisms, hilarious on-the-spot wig changes, and the fact that you’d never have even known it wasn’t Cher sitting there made her unbeatable.

Flawless Look 1:
Flawless Look 2:

Flawless Look 3: 
Willam and Sharon proved to be hilarious as well as an empty-headed Jessica Simpson (who couldn’t even spell her name right on her name card) and a hilarious Michelle Visage (also a huge risk), who took a stroll down memory lane with Ru and had us gagging.

While most of the queens rocked the challenge, some of them were just way too much. Poor Dida Ritz was caught in the whirlwind of crazy drag queens.
Queefy chose Gaga, which on paper sounds like a good idea until you realize that Gaga’s most discernible attributes come from her performances and wacky costumes.
It’d have made more sense if she had just cried about how much she loves her little monsters or begged to be in every single photo being taken.

Milan’s Diana Ross was a tad crazy looking, while Latrice’s Aretha Franklin just kind of sat there complaining about people not having any R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Who could blame aunt Latrice? The shenanigans that some of these queens were pulling out of their weave was just too much.

In true Snooki fashion, Jiggles started rubbing herself on everyone, demanding “smoosh smoosh.” Now, we love a good South Park reference, but there’s a place and a time Jigs.

But the true horror of the Snatch Game was little Kenya Michaels, who turned Beyonce into a crazy, drugged up, spastic, pocket Sasha Fierce.

We just have to ask “why?” Why, Kenya, why? Did you learn nothing from Tyra’s catastrophically FLAT (we recognize the out of this world paradox here, but just run with it gurls) Beyonce?

As Tatianna said to Tyra before the Snatch Game back in season 2, impersonating Beyonce for this challenge is an abysmal idea because “The only thing Beyonce has done funny is fall.”

The result of both Tyra and Kenya’s impersonations…just…ugh…
Correct us if we’re wrong, but Beyonce deserves better.

Auntie Latrice was so upset with some of the girls that she gave them her usual talking to before the runway. Jiggles apologized, while Phi Phi ate a baby in the corner without batting an eyelash.

The Runway

The girls had to hit the runway in their “best drag.”

Chad’s giraffe print bodysuit served us everything we needed.
 She looked fierce, she was giving Cher face, and she wowed the viewers and the judges.

Our biggest problem on the runway was Milan. Milan came out in a Janelle Monae inspired men’s tuxedo and shoes with a pretty mannish wig. The only drag she had on was her beat face. She did a little runway jig and looked fierce doing it, but needless to say we were worried about her.

Dida Ritz wore a cupcake made out of stuffed animals and we didn’t hate it. It was different and it was quirky, but it seemed to sum up her drag pretty well. She fell somewhere in the middle of the pack this week based on her performance as Wendy Williams, but she looked cute and bubbly on the runway.

Kenya came to knock out the competition in a boxing robe and bedazzled boxing gloves. She looked gorgeous, but obviously this wasn’t one that would compensate for her Snatch Game tomfoolery.

Sharon Needles served us Real Housewives of Orange County realness as she walked down the runway in a plastic surgery-induced body cast. Of course she brought a syringe with her just in case her lips needed that extra plumping to look just right. Somewhere in LA Raven remembered that she needed a touch-up.

The ever stunning Latrice wowed again in a gorgeous evening gown and perfectly beat face (no surprise there) proving that she was indeed royale in royal blue.

When the girls got their critiques it came as no surprise that Chad pummeled the competition with his Cher and won the challenge.

Meanwhile, after a hoard of compliments from Michelle Visage on playing her, Sharon was safe. Willam also got to join the safe girls. Here’s where this week’s padrama party came in.

Willam started crying and going on and on about never having drag queen friends. That’s when she came out and expressed how sad it will be to see them all go home just so she can win. Shady compliments AIN’T CUTE WILLAM. Many seem to believe that she was actually sincere, others think she was being a vicious diva.

We’re sure that she made great friends in this competition, but the judges were spot on when they said that we barely know who Willam really is. And truth be told we believe that it’s because she is treating this like more of a gig than a competition. She seems to care more about the IMDB credit than the crown.

Hopefully we’re wrong, because some of these girls really want and deserve to win this competition.

Milan and Kenya, unsurprisingly fell into the bottom two and had to lip sync to the legendary Vogue by the Queen of Pop herself.

Before we say anything, we just have to say that both of these bitches pulled it out and slayed on that stage.
Kenya looked fierce, but Milan turned.it.out. She channeled the original ballroom queens of New York City – think “Paris is Burning 2012.” She worked every inch of that stage in pose after pose, and the crowd we were with at Boxers NYC was going nuts over it!
Rupaul saved Milan and told her to Shante Stay. Milan, who was there at Boxers with us, became so emotional by the love and support of her fans that she had to step outside for a minute.

Snaps for you, Milan. Snaps all around.

Kenya was sent sashaying, and we can’t say we are surprised after her not-even-close-to Beyonce. We have a feeling, though, that if and when Ru invites an eliminated queen back, Kenya will be in the running for that wildcard spot.

Snatch That Snatch

by [M]artin

After last week’s padrama party of an episode, you’d expect the race to slow down a little bit, right?
WRONG.

A clear sign that these girls’ tucks are tightening is when it’s time for the Snatch Game. For those of you who are new to drag race, the Snatch Game is when the remaining contestants each choose a celebrity/personality to impersonate in a 70’s style game show. Think “The Match Game” on poppers.

This gives both the makeup queens and the girls with personality a great chance to show Ru what they’ve got. Some of the most memorable contestants include:

Tatianna as Britney Spears. Brilliant. My personal fave, obviously. Alec Mapa was right when she said this portrayal was eerily accurate.

Pandora Boxx as Carol Channing. Hilarious. It was nice to see that she cared enough to get the information about scurvy out there.

Shangela as Tina Turner. Oddly fitting for Shangela’s spastic personality.

Raja as Tyra Banks. She captured the crazy pretty well. More importantly, bitch smized for dayyyyyyys.

Stacy Lane Matthews as Monique. There was no real talent involved (she already looks just like Monique) but she got an A for the look.

And, of course, there are also some memorable Snatch Game train wrecks…

Sonique as Lady Gaga. Granted, this was before anyone knew anything about Gaga’s mannerisms and relentless hunger for attention.

Morgan McMichaels as Pink. I like Morgan. I love Pink. But this just wasn’t working. Not to mention I was annoyed with Morgan at this point in the competition.

Alexis Mateo as Alicia Keys. Literally the most irritating contestant. I hate her face, I hate her voice and this impersonation sucked.
The rest of the season 3 cast. Dreadful.

Season 4’s snatch game, however, is shaping up to be somethin’ fierce. We can’t wait to see Sharon work it out as Michelle Visage, Queefy O’Hara fail as Gaga, and of course Chad Michaels effortlessly pull everyone’s wigs back with her Cher impersonation.

MONDAY COULDN’T COME SOONER

Shrieking, Party City and Drag Queens In Jail. Naturally.

By [J]ustin and [M]artin

Get your cuffs out, girls (we know you have them)! This week’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race takes us to Tuckahoe Penitentiary for ladies (read: drag queens), where our contestants are challenged to bust out their acting chops and convince us that they don’t love nuts. This was a drama-packed episode, featuring special guest judges Nicole Sullivan and Matt Mutchnick.

Ok, ok. We know the REAL reason why this episode was great, and we’re itching to discuss it just as much as you are. So we’ll make the lead-up quick.

For the mini challenge, the girls had to pose in teams for mug shots, and fortunately, Willam and Madame LaQueer were able to give the camera some Lindsay Lohan realness and come out on top (pun intended).

Willam and Madame became team captains and assembled their teams for the main challenge, which required the girls to channel their inner sitcom actresses and put on a skit set in fictional Tuckahoe Prison For Ladies. The heat was turned up to underworld levels when Ru announced that he would be judging the queens alongside Will and Grace co-creator, Matt Mutchnick.

The queens scrambled to learn their lines with their teams, Milan told us that she has an acting degree and Willam taught Jigglypuff how to read.

Main Challenge

Queefy O’Hara was dressed as a peanut. Sharon Needles was a back-talking beaver.

Like Latrice, Dida rocked the acting challenge. Milan proved the value of an acting degree when she struggled to read her lines while looking at another human being.

Latrice, who as we know has been to prison, was ecstatic to turn the tables and play the role of Large (and in charge) Marge, the prison guard. Obviously she nailed it.

Flawless, tbh.

Justin. Martin. STFU. Get to the fight. Ok we hear you.

HERE COMES THE SHOWDOWN
Prepping for the main challenge, the queens rushed around to prepare their best TV premiere/red carpet looks. Sharon Needles decided that she wanted to come clean to Phi Phi about what happened during last week’s judges critique.

If you don’t recall, Sharon explained to the judges that it was Phi Phi who told her to “just look gothic.”

Phi Phi, who can’t stand the fact that she sucks, immediately lost it and went in on Sharon, screeching at decibels that only certain breeds of toy dogs can hear.

Stank face.

We think she said something about Sharon owing her for doing such a good job in last week’s challenge. Honey. You could have said “just look fishy” and she still would have turned it out. Don’t take the credit for someone else’s talent.

Namecalling was eminent.

Sharon hit Queefy where it hurt:
While Phi Phi may have screeched Sharon into a gig as Party City’s new spokesgirl:

Ok girls. Here’s the thing. Phi Phi is ok. JUST ok. Her attitude is insufferable and, unlike Willam, she has no real redeeming qualities. Freud would have a field day with this queen and her horribly veiled jealousy issues.

In the midst of her vocal cord shredding and vein popping, Queefy squeaks out something about Sharon not being on her level. You’re right Phi Phi…

This is Sharon:
This is you:

However, it seems as though Christina Aguilera has done the best job in describing Miss O’Hara:
The Runway
YES YES YES. Ru looks beautiful. This dress is gorgeous. We can’t stop stanning.

Phi Phi’s stank face tried to look classy but the polar bear-skin rug that she was dragging around that stage screamed shag carpet realness.

Stunning.

Cheap.

Kenya Michaels borrowed Manila’s big bird outfit from last season and made some alterations. The result was the Manila Luzon Big Bird remix (feat. Tweetie Bird)

The flawless Chad Michaels worked it out in a red wig that screamed Cher, with a metalic renaissance warrior dress. This look gives you a good idea of what the lovechild of Florence Welch and Cher might look like.

Jigglypuff failed in her attempt to evolve into a Pikachu for this week’s runway. She was less than electrifying.

Meanwhile, Sharon continued to prove why she’s a stellar queen as she strutted down the runway in a short black cocktail dress and fierce silver wig that kept her signature edge in tact.

Latrice unsurprisingly won this week’s challenge, while our homegirl Madame LaQueer went up against Milan in the lip sync.
Having seen Milan perform before, we knew that this would be a tough one for Madame, and Milan definitely proved us right.

Sadly, we saw another of our favorite queens sashay this week, as Madame left us to return home to Puerto Rico.

Next week’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the queens will do their best celebrity impersonations in the Snatch Game. So far we’ve confirmed that Chad will be portraying Cher (as if there’d be any doubt) and Milan will be portraying Dianna Ross. You’ll have to wait with the rest of us to see who else the queens will be channeling.

 Till next week, ya’ll!

The Showdown We’ve All Been Waiting For

by [M]artin

YAAAAAAAAAAAAS GURL.

In next week’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Sharon Needle’s confronts Phi Phi O’Hara about how she felt shoved into a “spooky, gothic” box in last week’s main challenge.

Sharon very non-threateningly approaches Phi Phi and explains that she wants to put it all out there before any of the other queens run and tell that gossip.

Phi Phi and her stank face (to absolutely no surprise) jump to the defensive and all drag queen hell breaks loose.

Gurls, you know how we feel about Sharon by now. And you certainly know how we feel about Phi Phi. Our only hope is that Sharon puts this little girl in her place.

With any luck, the result of this altercation will end something like this: