Show Us Your Brown Flowers, Hunty.

We’re back huntiesssss!

by [J]ustin + [M]artin

RuPaul’s All Stars Drag Race kicked off in high style as the girls entered the work room for the first time to see who they’d be competing against this time around.

Pandora entered first, looking fierce in black and white, followed by Latrice who is always here to make us EAT IT.

Yara was the next of the miss congeniality queens to enter the workroom, and calls the other two girls her little enchiladas and we’ve been calling everyone that ever since.

Shannel came in next, proving she hasn’t lost any of her showgirl fashion sense. Next up was Raven, the original dark lady of drag race and our favorite psychological woman.

Alexis entered looking ZzZZzZZzZZzZzZzZzZZZ

No gracias.

Chad Michaels served some Hunger Games tribute realness.

Your braid done been snatched, Katniss.

Manila’s Cruella-inspired look had us gagging. She said it herself: this is what drag is all about. We’re into it. Also, we want to give a personal thank you to Manila for walking in and killing Alexis’s self-indulgent buzz upon her arrival. That bitch was ROA (READ On Arrival).

Mimi Imfurst came in next with some boring rehearsed line about not being fat anymore and we don’t care.

That’s when our favorite LOCA entered. Nina Loca Flowers ranked a 9.9 on the Richter scale as she pummeled into the work room in a neon onesie that had us gagging.

Next down the line was our homegirl JujuBEEEEEE.

If there’s one thing we love, it’s a drag queen that shares our affinity for big d***s and fried chicken (in that order).

Last to enter the workroom was Miss Tammie Brown. Okay. Now. We like weird things. We like Sharon Needles, we like Lady Gaga and let’s not forget about the fact that we blog about men in dresses. But Tammie kind of makes us uncomfortable. We are intrigued, nonetheless.

The queens looked pretty happy to be in one room together, but all that changed when Ru told the girls that they’ll be working in pairs for the entire competition.

Tammie Brown and Pandora Boxx look divastated by the news.  Others are elated to work with their drag kindred spirits (read, Rujubee, Shad) and take home 500,000 chicken nuggets (read, Jujubee, making Boston proud).

Here’s how the teams were broken down:

Team Rujubee (Raven and Jujubee)
Team Latrila (Latrice Royale and Manila Luzon)
Team Yarlexis (Alexis Mateo and Yara Sofia)
Team Mandora (Mimi Imfurst and Pandora Boxx)
Team Shad (Shannel and Chad Michaels)
Team Brown Flowers (Tammie Brown and Nina Flowers)

We just need to say one thing here to Mimi Imfurst, whose first choice of partner was Chad Michaels: keep dreaming sweetheart. She’s not our favorite queen, and she’s not our least favorite (*cough* Queefy *cough*), but we can’t help but feel like she was a throw away contestant. Whether it was Pandora or even Chad, her team would have gone down first regardless.

Sorry, Mimi.

Challenge: The Photo Shoot

As every RPDR buff knows, the first challenge of every season is a photo shoot – typically shot by Mike Ruiz (where were you this time, papi?).

The girls were asked to give their best “opposites attract” shots – one set of stripped down rillness, and another set of glam shots.

Our personal favorite this week was Rujubee. We love this team because they have such good synergy together without ever sacrificing their own personalities and styles.

Also let’s talk about the balls it literally took to do this:

Our least favorite? Shanel and Chad’s photo. We love both of these queens so so dearly, but their necks looked like vajays of the mashed ravioli kind.

The Runway

Your favorites will try, and they will fail.

Shad served up pheasant and peacock REALNESS, and came to prove why they are the top divas. Poise incarnate, these two divas have never been the type to shy from true eleganza.

Rujubee worked it in a black and white burlesque look. Our desire is to look half is good in a unitard after a few hash brownies. These were the clear winners in our book.

Latrila’s Teletubby gimmick was cute, but this time around Manila will need more than a kids show to get by (lest we forget her Big Bird ensemble that nearly sent her home in season 3). We couldn’t help but feel like something was missing with this look.

Brown Flowers worked the runway with their gothic look. While we have to say that this is a very Nina Flowers look, we were surprised to see it actually work for Tammie as well.

Yarlexis attempted to be cute by putting their own pictures on their outfits. They probably owe Willam a rupology for stealing her idea. We feel like we’ve seen these outfits from each of them before. We expect more from Yara. Alexis, not so much.

But it was the green Muppet mess of Mandora that we just couldn’t take. Clearly neither of them watched last season when Michelle Visage voiced her hatred for the color green.

As for the challenge winner? Latrila’s photo spread earned them the top queens spot of the week. The bottom two teams were Mandora and Shad.

When the time had come to Lip Sync For Their Lives, Ru announced that lip syncs will be done tag team style. That’s right. One queen performs for each pair. The other two stand off next to a big red button that allows them to tap each other out. The catch is that the button can only be used once per team in the entire competition.

The LSFYL was in the hands of Mimi and Chad. We’re sorry but AS IF Mimi had a prayer performing against Motherdust.

To quote friend of J&M and legendary entertainer, Wanda Sparkles “Mimi Imfurst vs Chad Michaels? that’s like pitting an ant against God.” And surprise surprise, God squashed that ant. Mimi was sent packing, and unfortunately, Pandora along with her.

It was pretty unfair that Mimi was even brought back at all, as it was essentially a death sentence to whomever she was paired with.

So farewell Pandora, we will miss you in All Stars, but know that your loss is not in vain. Because of your selfless sacrifice we no longer need to endure Mimi every Monday.

Predictions
Our predictions for this season? We have a feeling that the last episode will break the team dynamic, leaving us with some sort of top two or three scenario. In terms of when the teams will be eliminated, here are our guesses:

Justin
Pandora and Mimi
Yara and Alexis
Latrice and Manila
Nina and Tammie
Chad and Shannel
Raven and Jujubee

Martin

Pandora and Mimi
Nina and Tammie
Yara and Alexis
Latrice and Manila
Chad and Shannel
Raven and Jujubee

What are your predictions?

-J&M

 

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