Britney Spears: The $16 Million Woman

by [M]artin

Britney Spears on X Factor in the UK, performing Womanizer

 Well it’s happened. The loud whispers about Britney being considered for an X Factor judge gig have reached a climax today. Reports claim that an offer has been made to Britney and we might actually see her on our TVs this Fall.

It’s come down to money for our girl – Cowell has offered her $10 mill, but she and fiancágent, Jason Trawick, are not here for pocket change. They want $16 mill and they are firm on it. My feelings on the subject are kind of all over the place. Would I love to see Britney on tv every week? ABSOLUTELY.

She is beyond eligible for this job. Surely there will be many who say “but she lip syncs and isn’t even a good singer.” To that, I say that this isn’t “The Vocal Factor.” This is a competition about finding someone with a complete and unique package. Britney’s resume as an entertainer (no, not a vocalist, entertainer) is nothing short of impressive in an industry that tosses stars out habitually. You’re hot today, and gone tomorrow. Britney’s always been hot enough to keep people talking. Her dancing was (and still can be) unparalleled. But my concern comes two-fold. First of all, this chick needs a break. Her very public breakdown was at its peak back in 2007 and her “comeback” album, Circus, came out at the end of 2008.  One would think that a year isn’t nearly enough to recover, but somehow she came back full force for the amazing Circus tour. It wasn’t “Slave” or “Toxic” Britney, but she was still on fire. Her next break was about a year and a half between the end of the Circus tour and the release of Femme Fatale. This time she came back with a little less fire in her eyes.

While I love her no matter what, she was significantly more “on and off” in the FF era. When I saw her in LA for the Femme Fatale Tour, she was snatching wigs left and right. But when I watched videos of the last leg of the tour she just looked physically and emotionally tired. Who could blame her? Who could blame her for wanting to slow down and spend time with her kids? With all of her complicated contractual and legal obligations, she couldn’t make the executive decision herself. It seemed like she’d finally get that break. A break that hopeful fans thought might be long enough for her to relax and come back with an inferno in her eyes. Being a judge on the X Factor WILL be exhausting and demanding and WILL put that break on hold.

My other concern comes from the backlash that last year’s judges received. Let’s face it, the media and the public tore Nicole Scherzinger apart from the inside out. Brit’s little head nods and “yeah, i liked it. it was cool”‘s might be too passive for the same audience that still bears a grudge on the woman who just “wasn’t assertive enough.” Then again, Paula has lasted all these years and become more aggressive in her judging since Idol season 1.

Alas, time will tell. I will be disappointed if this doesn’t happen, but I will be worried if it does.

Then again…it’s Britney, bitch! It’s about time the world remembers the goofy, bubbly diva that she is.


UPDATE: Britney has reportedly turned down the offer for $10 million and is now asking for $20 million. Yikes!


A Message to Rihanna About Featuring Chris Brown on Bday Cake

Oh. So. Looks like Chris Brown is being featured on Rihanna’s remix of Birthday Cake.

Now, I love pop music. A lot. I especially love stanning for divas, and Rihanna was one of them. When it comes to obsessing over pop divas, I look to the strong ones who have overcome some sort of struggle. Madonna had a rough early life, Britney had a rough 2007 and Rihanna seemed to have overcome a horrible relationship full of some very public domestic violence. What they have in common is that they all came out of it alive and stronger than yesterday.

It’s hard to continue to put Rihanna in this grouping, though, with the news that not only has she let Chris Brown back into her personal life, but she will be collaborating with him on a remix of one of the best songs on her recent album. To add insult to injury, it looks like she will also be featured on a remix of his single, Turn Up The Music.

Listen, her personal life is her personal life. But a professional collaboration is a whole different matter. She and Chris Brown will literally be capitalizing on domestic violence. The message that people in DV relationships are getting is that it’s okay for your boyfriend to beat you senseless, so long as you give him a few remorseless years before you take him back. And hey, why not make a few bucks out of it, too?

The only collaborations that I could imagine to be just as destructive:

  • Britney Spears feat. Sam Lufti and the Paparazzi Experience
  • Christina Aguilera feat. McDonalds and Bionic
  • Ke$ha feat. Her Sponsor

With that said, we just have a few messages for RihRih:

And most importantly:

Further reading material:
Sam Lansky on XO Jane

New Madonna Single Reminds World Why She Is Royalty

by [M]artin

This morning was a good morning. I am normally incredibly hard to get out of bed and usually end up looking something like this, with a mood to match:

Morn' this way

But today was different. Today I knew that the world had already become a brighter place with pom poms and gay football players. In a half-woken stupor, I stumbled over to my computer, launched iTunes and finally filled the void that Britney left while she’s on her break.

The first thing I have to say about “Give Me All Your Luvin'”, Madonna’s lead single from her 12th studio album, MDNA, is that it is incredibly refreshing. Don’t get me wrong, I love EDM and the wave of bangers that producers like David Guetta and Calvin Harris have blessed us with. But the thing about pop is that it is ever-changing and it should never be just one thing at a time.

We need something different for every occasion, because we as humans are too dynamic  to be listening to the same thing over and over again. Pop music follows that standard, and no one does it better than the legendary chameleon, Madonna.

“Give Me All Your Luvin'” sweeps you off the dance floor and puts you in your happy place, keeping the party going while you’re strutting down the street or getting ready to take on a new day.

It’s fun, it’s silly, it’s HAPPY. If the success of producer Martin Solveig‘s summer smash, “Hello,” has taught us anything, it’s that people respond well to happy.

Nicki Minaj‘s rap is  poppy, upbeat and perfect for the mood.

Truth be told, I feel as though M.I.A. is a little out of place here. Her style is typically more cutting and aggressive than this, so I’m having a hard time adjusting to hearing her on such a bubbly track.

The music video is the ultimate pump-up for Madge’s Super Bowl performance this weekend, with football players, pom poms and robots for days.

Also, I really want to know what Madonna is putting in her body to make her look like a 25 year old. I mean DAMN. I’ll have what she’s having (in 30 years).

Give Me All Your Luvin’ is now on iTunes, with MDNA available for pre-order.

Madonna: Actually NOT throwing shade

by [M]artin

The Give Me All Your Luvin’ diva speaks out about Gaga in an interview for the Advocate, in which she draws passive comparisons to Brit.

 “ I can see why [Lady Gaga] has a young gay following. I can see that they connect to her kind of not fitting into the conventional norm. I mean, she’s not Britney Spears. She’s not built like a brick shithouse. She seems to have had a challenging upbringing, and so I can see where she would also have that kind of connection, a symbiotic relationship with gay men.”

Now, while you may be quick to think that she’s bringing these pop icons down, she isn’t. “Brick shithouse” is British for curvacious, well-built woman.

Meanwhile, Madge points out that Lady Gaga’s experience with being bullied has helped her connect with a young gay audience who also knows what it’s like to be ostracized.

Some think that she’s dissing Britney (she’s not). And some think she’s dissing Gaga (she’s not…again).

Ok. Let’s be real here. Madonna’s tongue has been known to cut bitches at the knees, but her sentiment here is positive. While she has been known to be brutally honest and speak her mind, she is also very smart about who she shades and how she does it. This is Madonna. She’s been around for three decades. She doesn’t need to read the hell out of Lady Gaga (or Brit, for that matter).

To break it down:
Gaga = resilient
Britney = Beautiful

Let’s stop trying to make fetch happen, shall we?