If You Teach a Fish to Read

OMFG PEOPLE. If you missed this week’s episode what in Ru’s name were you DOING?

Like seriously you better have a great excuse. You better have been curing all of the children of cancer. All of them.

For this week’s mini challenge it was a field trip to everyone’s favorite place – the LIBRARY, HUNTIES.

For the reading challenge, the girls served some serious humor and read each other to shreds, but it was Alaska who pummeled the rest of the girls into the ground and won the advantage of being able to place the other girls in order for the main challenge.

The girls were told it was a comedy challenge, but not just any live comedy challenge – the first ever RuPaul Roast!

The Roast

No one was safe when it came to the roast, not the judges, not the other girls, but the main event was the reading of RuPaul herself. Ru was basically like here’s this shovel call me when your grave is dug so i can slaughter you.

The girls read Ru in front of a live audience, so they RULLY had to bring it.

Nonetheless, the challenge was hilarious! The guest judges were little Leslie Jordan (see Beverly Lesley from Will and Grace) and Jeffrey Moran (this tired old queen again?)

Alaska opened the show hilariously, attacking Lesley and then coming for Ru’s age – the judges thought she was hilarious, but needed to dig deeper since she was opening the show, and they weren’t crazy about her outfit always looking so similar (like Alaska…we love you. seriously, we LOVE you…but gurl…you do know there are more than 1 wig in the world right? Like there are others…for sale…like you can buy them…)

Jinkx was also hilarious (obvs) and Michelle had the audience on pins and needles when she finally revealed that she loved Jinkx’s outfit for the first time and she was so proud of her for bringing the glamor.

Coco was hilarious as well, thought not our favorite, as Ru’s long lost hoodrat cousin. But bitch looked the part and delivered the jokes with such sincerity that they worked.

Detox was middle of the pack, though humorous, but Ivy, Alyssa, and Roxxxy really failed to get many laughs from the judges or the audience. Painful to watch, but unsuprising.

When it came time to Lip Sync For Their Lives, Ivy was safe, and Alyssa and Roxxxy had to come for each other to the legendary Willow Smith: “Whip My Hurzes” (for the non drag queens, Hurzes translates to “Hair.” Read a book.)

So we’re sitting there, waiting, the song starts, Roxxxy shimmies her skirt down it’s all looking cute. And then…

Yes. Yes people. Roxxxy pulls her hurzes off to reveal ANOTHER WIG and proceeds to whip her hurzes the house DOWN.

Meanwhile…Alyssa brought it too, using her wig as a deadly weapon, and the other girls had no idea who would take this one.

And we were like…

After the lip sync, the drama continued as Roxxxy had the breakdown we’ve been waiting for all season. She revealed how she never feels good enough or wanted, and that her mother left her at a bus stop when she was 3 and she remembers it like it was yesterday.

Ru teared up and spread her wisdom, and, as we all hoped, announced that the girls (unlike Vivienne and Honey) both showed her the hunger and passion that they have to win, and neither was eliminated.

Seriously…does anyone have a tissue…or a cigarette…

On a more serious and sad note, the drag community lost one of the fiercest entertainers, Erica Andrews, Monday night before the episode aired on Logo. Erica was Roxxxy’s drag mother, and we know she would have been so proud of her for performance. Our thoughts go out to Roxxxy and the entire House of Andrews.

RIP Diva ❤

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