So Dragcited

This week the girls were girls were mini-challenged to apply their face in a total blackout.

How this was done, we don’t even know.  We were pretty sure that Coco Montrese thought nothing of this challenge, seeing as how she probably gets dressed and made up in the dark anyway….

Somehow, Detox beat her face to near perfection and won the mini challenge. Though Alaska should have gotten some serious points for creativity, the lipstick-smeared-on-your-cheek-and-teeth is really in this year…in Pittsburgh…maybe.

For the main challenge, Ru channeled his inner Michael Jackson as the leader of a supergroup who had to write and record their own 80’s anthem, “We Are the World” style, called “Can I Get an Amen”.

In a veiled (pun!) attempt at boring us with even more of Coco and Alyssa’s drama, Detox paired the quarreling queens together, resulting in some WE DON’T CARE.

Coco and Alyssa were assigned the first verse of the song, Jade, Ivy and Jinkx got the next verse, and Rolaskatox got to write the bridge. Really smart move – the bridge is where you shake things up a bit.

Coco started throwing all kinds of whiney shade (apparently that’s her move) about how UNFAIR it all was and how Detox was RUINING HER LIFE  by making her go first and pairing her with snaggle face.

After some more babbling about how her looks have to be more polished than everyone else’s and she spends 8 thousand nights a week on stage in Las Vegas because she’s Miss Gay USNobody…we still didn’t care.

On the other hand, Alyssa, who can’t even sing, had fun with the challenge and the judges appreciated her attempt.

But the true glory of the music video were Ivy and Jinkx who could SANGGGG and belted their pipes in their verse and provided killer riffs over Ru’s chorus.

Jade Jolie Flop

Jade was mellow on set, with Roxxxy and Detox also failing to bring it, but Alaska was fierce and serving 80’s humor that went apparently unappreciated by the judges.

Can I get an Amen - Alaska

THE RUNWAY

Runway

The BeltersJinkx Monsoon RunwayJinkx Monsoon
Hilarious, yet she contoured a bit too much, but she threw some serious shade Michelle’s way with a hilarious campy look, not to mention she yawned like she was OVER all of the tired ass glamour comments from her.

Detox Icunt Runway Detox
Detox looked sleek and slender, but then bitch really brought it home when she turned around to get caught in one of the biggest crack deals in FBI Herstory.

Roxxxy Andrews Runway Roxxxy
Roxxxy was serving bodyodyody with a side dish of massive hair, blowing the guest judges away.

Ivy Winters RunwayIvy
Ivy really nailed this look by making a dress entirely out of photos of herself giving face, face, face. Talk about a diva. We loved every minute of it, and she looked flawless

The Off KeyJade Jolie Runway

Jade
We’re so sorry sweetheart because you are a lovely girl…but why? Just why? Muppet hair doesn’t grow on boobs for a reason. At least when Rainbow Brite went through puberty, the bitch had the decency to trim.

Alyssa Edwards RunwayAlyssa
This week really served….zzZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzZZZzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz…..

Coco Montrese Runway

Coco
Let’s leave it to Sharon from now on, shall we?

The Autotuned (just okay)

Alaska Thunderfuck Runway Alaska
We love you girl, but you have to be able to pummel the runway. You in chainz, honey.

The girls were mostly read to filth, with the exception of Ivy, who won the challenge. Jinkx was criticized yet again by Michelle (jealous much?). Alaska was called out for putting too much focus on being part of a clique and not worrying enough about herself, and for the first time was compared by the judges to her ladyboyfirned Sharon Needles, who they said had more of a heart.

Ivy won the challenge (yayyyy) and Coco and Jade fell into the bottom two, having to perform the Pointer Sisters’s Legendary “So Excited.”

coco JADE

Both really amazed with the energy they brought to the song. Jade’s body hair was twirling all over that stage, but unfortunately for the young starlet, Coco brought it up to the next level, and Jade went sashaying away.

Stay tuned for next week when the girls have to channel their inner comedienne to roast RuPaul herself!

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