By [J]ustin and [M]artin
Get your cuffs out, girls (we know you have them)! This week’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race takes us to Tuckahoe Penitentiary for ladies (read: drag queens), where our contestants are challenged to bust out their acting chops and convince us that they don’t love nuts. This was a drama-packed episode, featuring special guest judges Nicole Sullivan and Matt Mutchnick.
Ok, ok. We know the REAL reason why this episode was great, and we’re itching to discuss it just as much as you are. So we’ll make the lead-up quick.
For the mini challenge, the girls had to pose in teams for mug shots, and fortunately, Willam and Madame LaQueer were able to give the camera some Lindsay Lohan realness and come out on top (pun intended).
Willam and Madame became team captains and assembled their teams for the main challenge, which required the girls to channel their inner sitcom actresses and put on a skit set in fictional Tuckahoe Prison For Ladies. The heat was turned up to underworld levels when Ru announced that he would be judging the queens alongside Will and Grace co-creator, Matt Mutchnick.
The queens scrambled to learn their lines with their teams, Milan told us that she has an acting degree and Willam taught Jigglypuff how to read.
Queefy O’Hara was dressed as a peanut. Sharon Needles was a back-talking beaver.
Like Latrice, Dida rocked the acting challenge. Milan proved the value of an acting degree when she struggled to read her lines while looking at another human being.
HERE COMES THE SHOWDOWN
Prepping for the main challenge, the queens rushed around to prepare their best TV premiere/red carpet looks. Sharon Needles decided that she wanted to come clean to Phi Phi about what happened during last week’s judges critique.
If you don’t recall, Sharon explained to the judges that it was Phi Phi who told her to “just look gothic.”
Phi Phi, who can’t stand the fact that she sucks, immediately lost it and went in on Sharon, screeching at decibels that only certain breeds of toy dogs can hear.
We think she said something about Sharon owing her for doing such a good job in last week’s challenge. Honey. You could have said “just look fishy” and she still would have turned it out. Don’t take the credit for someone else’s talent.
Namecalling was eminent.
Sharon hit Queefy where it hurt:
While Phi Phi may have screeched Sharon into a gig as Party City’s new spokesgirl:
Ok girls. Here’s the thing. Phi Phi is ok. JUST ok. Her attitude is insufferable and, unlike Willam, she has no real redeeming qualities. Freud would have a field day with this queen and her horribly veiled jealousy issues.
In the midst of her vocal cord shredding and vein popping, Queefy squeaks out something about Sharon not being on her level. You’re right Phi Phi…
This is Sharon:
This is you:
The flawless Chad Michaels worked it out in a red wig that screamed Cher, with a metalic renaissance warrior dress. This look gives you a good idea of what the lovechild of Florence Welch and Cher might look like.
Latrice unsurprisingly won this week’s challenge, while our homegirl Madame LaQueer went up against Milan in the lip sync.
Having seen Milan perform before, we knew that this would be a tough one for Madame, and Milan definitely proved us right.
Sadly, we saw another of our favorite queens sashay this week, as Madame left us to return home to Puerto Rico.
Next week’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the queens will do their best celebrity impersonations in the Snatch Game. So far we’ve confirmed that Chad will be portraying Cher (as if there’d be any doubt) and Milan will be portraying Dianna Ross. You’ll have to wait with the rest of us to see who else the queens will be channeling.
Till next week, ya’ll!