by [J]ustin and [M]artin
Welcome back ladies and lady boys! We hope you enjoyed our chat with Chad Michaels! We definitely had a fantastic time talking to him and it made us only more excited to see what the rest of this season will bring. This week, Ru opened the library once again for the greatest mini challenge in modern drag history: the reading challenge. This challenge was way past due and we were pumped to see this particular cast read each other to filth.
Right off the bat, we have to say that these queens were sooooo much better than last year’s, and rivaled the readings of season 2. Let’s go down the line and recap everyone’s best read, shall we?
Dida Ritz: Latrice Royale. You’re free now. You don’t have to keep rocking the yard sandals anymore. Jiggly Caliente: Willam honey. Yo face looks like it’s made outta marble, sh*t don’t move. Phi Phi O’hara…Flop. The true highlight of the mini challenge came when Phi Phi’s feeble attempt to read Sharon (something about party city) and Sharon cut her off and said “It’s where I got your Lady Gaga wig”. Genius.
Willam: Phi Phi you are gorgeous. You catch the camera’s eye from the right. But from the left you SNAG it. Chad Michaels: Jiggly. I love you. Come to mother dust. I won’t hurt you. Come. Here’s my dentist card. USE IT. Latrice Royale: Jiggly Caliente. BMW. Body. Made. Wrong. Sharon Needles: Jiggly Caliente. You’re such a fat slut, after sex you smoke HAMS.
RuPaul closed the library and, in sum….
No surprise there.
For the main challenge, the girls had to channel their inner Miranda Priestly and become editor in chief of their own dragazine. Latrice, who won the mini challenge, assigned the girls their magazine titles.
She gave Sharon a kitten magazine, Dida a fried chicken magazin, Queefy a travel magazine, Jiggly a fitness magazine (lol!), Willam an interior decorating magazine, Chad a fashion magazine, and took the gossip magazine for herself. Confused by (life and) whether or not she should take the comedy or serious route, shady ass Queefy O’Haga convinced her to go for serious, later confessing to Willam that she suggested it because she knew Jiggles would fail.
Congratulations, Phi Phi. You remain a horrible human being and rely on screwing your friends over to get to the top. Because, you know, you couldn’t rely on the endless amounts of talent you claim to possess.
No t, no shade, but this challenge was kind of a fail for everyone. When Ru made his rounds in the workroom he was not impressed with anyone’s magazine cover. The girls took photos with a photographer that looked straight out of a porn movie before hitting the main stage to show off their dragazine covers.
Gagging over Ru, as per usual. Sharon looked flawless in a black and white evening gown, twisting her hourglass figure down the runway in nothing short of perfection. Her kitty cat dragazine cover was sexy, hilairous, and had the judges meowing Dida looks elegant in this shimmering dress. It’s good enough to make her safe this week. Michele called her out for needing more volume. Can’t say we disagree. We love her attitude and her spirit but she needs to find a way to stand out, especially now that she’s the only one left who hasn’t won a main challenge.
Chad Michaels owned everything this week. The short blonde hair and black rock n roll garb pummeled the other girls to the sidelines, proving once again that she’s the gold standard. The judges didn’t love his dragazine cover, though.
When it came to the judges decisions, Phi Phi was announced as the winner of her first (and hopefully last) challenge, while Jiggly and Willam fell into the bottom two. The girls had to LSFYL to guest judge Pam Tillis’s “My Vida Loca.”
In terms of energy, the genre didn’t have quite the same energy as “Vogue” or “Born This Way,” but the goal of the LSFYL isn’t to do cartwheels and splits. It’s to embody the song and play on the illusion that a female impersonator is creating.
Willam understood that and, in the words of Sharon Needles, she looked like a young country pop star.
Now, we’re sure Jiggly is a lovely girl, but it’s about time that she got sent home. It says a lot (kind of) when even your shady, conniving “friend” in the competition thinks you should have been sent home a while ago.