by [J]ustin and [M]artin
RuPaul’s Drag Race reached a hotly-anticipated climax last night, putting the final nail in the coffin this season by crowning the one, the only SHARON NEEDLES as the winner.
Our séances have been answered.
Before we get to that, let’s go through our top moments from the first ever nationally televised drag queen variety hour, shall we?
Once we got back from getting drinks after what’s her face with the fly swatter was done talking, Lashauwn Beyond and the Princess threw some serious shade at the other queens and what they described as poor runway presentations.
Madame La Queer went into a rant about the direct correlation between being picked last in gym class (and the work room) and being a maid of honor.
Jiggly’s brother is apparently making a donation to the Jiggly Caliente Disaster Relief fund by buying her sewing lessons. As best summed up by a friend of J&M:
Finally, we get to the question we’ve been asking for months. What did Willam do?
The answer? She was getting it on with her husband at the hotel room while the show was being taped.
Really? That’s it? That’s why one of the most controversial and vivacious contestants in this show’s herstory was kicked off? That’s why we never saw this season’s heathers land in the top 4 (we’re talking about Willam, Latrice, Sharon and Chad obviously)?
That’s just RudePaul.
Up until this point in the episode, the banter had generally been a love fest, with a splash of good ‘ol queen-to-queen reading. Mostly harmless. But that’s not what we all tuned into the reunion for, was it? No. We want some drams (and to find out what Willam did/watch Latrice win Miss Congeniality/find out who won the damn competition).
When Sharon and Phi Phi were asked why they hated each other on the show, Sharon had no problem explaining her sentiments, most of which lined up with those of the viewers of this show – Phi Phi had no redeeming qualities for her behavior.
Phi Phi’s response was some poor excuse about how she felt as though Sharon talked down to her for most of the season. Of course, she followed it up with some bs about how she still loves and respects Sharon and blah blah blah blah blah.
That’s when Queen Willam sneezed out a big ol’ “BULLSHIT”
God bless her and God, bless her.
Willam followed this up with “I’m an egomaniac. Everybody knows that. But like….she should be studied down there. It’s almost sociopathic…”
And guess what….
She’s not rupologizing
There is a moment afterwards in which Phi Phi is giving Willam the death stare while Willam just sits there, chewing her gum, snapping her head forward, as if to say “sorry bout it, bitch.”
Consider us diehard Willam stans. Consider it our life goal to hit up a Greater Los Angeles Chick-Fil-A with Willam for waffle fries and lessons on how to properly put down heinous queens without even moving your lips.
It was so funny for us to watch Phi Phi sitting with the top 3, all the while queens like Willam and Latrice were stealing the show.
Speaking of our favorite chunky yet funky queen, Latrice very deservedly won the Miss Congeniality award, leaving us with one final matter of business: the coronation.
After an amazing season of fake blood, ghoulish contacts, fierce fish and unparalleled wit, Sharon Needles was crowned winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Check out the crowd reaction at the official viewing party in NYC:
To be quite honest, the amount of things that we had to cover in this hour special seemed to burst at the seams – several moments we had been anxiously waiting for felt significantly more rushed than in the past, downplaying moments like Latrice’s fan favorite award. But overall, this was a great conclusion to a great season.
“When in doubt, freak ’em out” – Sharon Needles, America’s Next Drag Superstar
Thanks to everyone who has kept up with the show on our blog, LSFYL and F Yeah RPDR Tumblrs for the gifs, as well as the queens who kept us intrigued week after week.
We’ll see you gurls in the Fall for RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars!
Check back for a post about the finale party