This week, following the totally necessary and unsurprising elimination of Serena Cha Cha, who no one will miss or care for ever again, Ru made the girls channel their best Sesame Street acting chops. Somewhere in New York City, Manila Luzon is wearing her Big Bird costume, sipping wine out of a Teletubbies sippy cup in a dimly lit room while putting safety pins through a RuPaul doll.
For the mini challenge, Ru had the girls bring their future spawn to life and turn them into Honey BooBoo wannabees for a little ladyboy’s drag show.
Far and away the leaders of this challenge were Team Detox (portraying a hilarious Rachel Zoe) and Roxxxy, and Team Alaska and Lineysha, but let’s all be Rihannest for a second…Alaska carried them, and they won the mini challenge.
For the main challenge, the girls had to split in teams of two led by Lineysha and Alaska to create children’s shows. And of course, in RPDR style, the shows were filled with more sexual innuendo than PeeWee Herman and Spongebob combined, and had to include a fun song, a word of the day, and a life lesson.
Alaska’s team was pretty hilarious, with the exception of Monica Beverly Hillz who fizzled…again. Can we just say, the bitch had her lines in front of her in a book and she couldn’t read them. 5 G’s please. Thanks.
Alaska’s character, Buffalo Bill, was read to filth by the judges for not appearing in drag. But how can it have been all that bad if she was paying homage to the fiercest mother tucker of our generation; have we all forgotten Buffalo Bill’s man-gina? We’re fairly certain he pioneered the tuck in the 90’s. Ancient Chinese secret? Yeah, okay.
Ru and Michelle were way too hard on Alaska – she can obviously DO drag, what does she need to prove? Also with the way some of them were dressed it was obvious no one cared about their looks. If she had thrown a mop on her head and called it a wig no one would have blinked twice.
Meanwhile Detox’s chicken wiped the floor with Raven’s incarnation from the season 2 country acting challenge.
Jinkx Monsoon also nailed the challenge, and later revealed that her grandma bought her her first pink wig at 17, and is one of the biggest reasons she’s been able to do drag so long.
Up next, what we hoped to be the biggest shade since Beyonce sold Kelly and Michelle to Satan himself for her career, turned out to be exactly what we were, in fact, expecting: boring trite drama between tired old queens. Alyssa and Coco started fighting and whining about something that no one cares about. After some swearing and finger pointing, all we know is that we’re officially team Alyssa.
Roxxxy, Alaska, and Detox
On the runway, Rolaskatox killed it (as expected), and all were mostly in the top, with Detox taking the win. Whether or not Alaska was top or bottom was never really confirmed. They hated her boy drag, but lived for her runway look.
The outfit could have gone either way, but we do have to say that we adore Jinkx. There’s a very sincere quality about her that we love.
We’re over this one. She doesn’t impress us, especially when she comes out stampeding like an elephant in a pink maternity moo moo. Honey should take some pointers from a much more sick’ning drag queen, Aquadisiac, to learn how to really model walk.
Monica Beverly Hillz
No thanks. The flower thing around her neck was too busy – did she not take note when Serena ChoCha got read for her choke collar? Unfortunately, she’s way too flat to be in this competition.
Okay, let’s be real. This is just a tutu. She looked cute and we really like her, but she’s relying too much on face and not enough on the rest of the package the winner should have.
The bottom spots went to Monica Beverly Hillz and Coco Montrese, after the most ridiculous ventriloquist dummy performance of all time.
When it came down to the LSFYL, to quote Michelle Visage, Coco was no joke, and tore it up with her performance of “When I Grow Up.” As annoying as we find Coco, bitch turned it, and Monica needed to go home.
Now all that’s left is to see Honey mahogany sashay away before it’s really anyone’s game.