We’re late. Again. Sorryboutit, but this time we were busy popping some ‘pagne in celebraysh of this week’s eliminaysh.
Alright. Let’s get into it.
Last night the girls were first challenged to become cheer leaders and create a “cheer-reading” routine. As we all know, Jujubee loves to read basic bitches to filth!
Shannel looked like a plastic surgery gone wrong victim during this challenge, but nonetheless, Shad delivered in full with their reading. And while Rujubee nailed it as well, Yarlexis won the mini challenge.
For the main challenge, the queens had to pair up with a celebrity to wow the judges with a group lipsync to a girl group version of one of Ru’s top songs, “Glamazon,” “Cover Girl,” and “Jealous of my Boogie.”
Kelly Osbourne joined Yarlexis, Kady Z was paired with Rujubee, and Shad were given the fierceeeeee Jillian Hervey (daughter of THE Wilhelmina SLAYS-HER).
In the workroom, Shannel was being a stiletto hog and choreographing the entire routine. We love her, but she doesn’t scream agile in any way. Shannel: showgirl, juggler, bossy bottom, but certainly not a dancer.
We found ourselves flashing back to season 1’s Destiny’s Child girl group challenge. But once again, her control paid off, and the queens looked sickening in a sexy bondage routine to “Glamazon.”
Kelly Osbourne rocked it with her group, expressing her joy at being a drag queen for the day. Let’s be rihannest, though. Kelly Osbourne was born a raging drag queen.
We must admit we were a bit disappointed with Yara to see the same wig we’ve seen a gazillion times go down the runway. How can you be in a girl group and only own one wig?
Rujubee had a minor setback with wannabe diva, Kady Z, who didn’t feel comfy in her big girl drag. She acted as though being contoured by Raven was like getting silicone injections in an alleyway in the slums of Rio. Nonetheless, Raven and Jujubee lip synced their hearts out and wowed us and the crowd.
The judges’ critiques were extremely nit-picky (what else is new), as nearly all the girls nailed it, but in the end, Shad won, and left Raven to lipsync against Alexis.
Alexis is absolutely no match to Raven in a lipsync, especially one that calls for any ounce of sensuality/poise/talent.
THEN…the mother FU*King sahddddde of. it. all.
Yara hit the button, letting everyone know that she didn’t think Alexis’s lip sync was up to snuff (it wasnt.) and that she could do a better job (she did.)
But in the end, no amount of Yarisma could outshine the legendary miss Raven.
Guys everywhere wish their girlfriends were hot like her.
So the lesson here, Yara Sofia, is to never, ever, ever:
And that ladies is the true T. What’ll happen next week? We honestly have no idea.