Wrestling’s Trashiest Fighters (WTF)
by [J]ustin and [M]artin
RuPaul’s Drag Race has shown us the many things that drag queens can and will do for some new makeup, a (padded) butt-load of money and the title of Next Drag Queen Superstar. We’ve seen some of our favorites put on the wettest burlesque show in LA, create exercise tape infomercials that make Susanne Somers question her already questionable life, and serve up the fiercest girl group realness fathomable.
But never, ever did we think we’d see these queens pile-driving for their lives.
This week, Ru asked us to hold these queens’s earrings and had the twelve competitors duke it out in the ring a la WWE. To give you a better idea of what this looked like, just imagine Hulk Hogan, a Mexican luchador and Charro all mixed in a blender and served chilled with pink sugar on the rim.
In this week’s mini-challenge, Ru put Sir Mix-A-Lot to shame by having the queens make padded hips and applebottoms in under thirty minutes. The results? Some queens came out bootylicious and others looked like a walking lumps of cottage cheese.
Just look for yourselves.
Before the captains picked their teams, Ru reveald that the girls are now a part of the Wrestling’s Trashiest Fighters, or WTF for short.
Each of the three teams included two heroes and two villains. Some of these gurlz raised the bar and some of them not so much.
Regardless, this challenge made for some DAMN good TV.
At one point, Willam calls Jigglypuff “Fat Jujubee.” We only have one comment on the matter:
Gurlfriend could never.
Ru asked the girls to hit the main stage in their best girly-girl drag, and these teeny boppers took the opportunity to remind Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber how it’s really done, okraaaaaaay.
First up, Kenya Michaels channeled her inner Barbie and showed up in some serious Nicki Minaj realness and, for the second week in a row, pummeled the runway like a dungeon dragon. This feisty little queen has been praised by the judges for her energy, but we have a feeling that we still haven’t seen anything yet.
Work it out Miss Kenya.
Chad Michaels had us gagging as she pounded the stage in some 1960s-Cher-inspired white go-go boots and a pink mini-dress, oddly making us think that this is probably what Paris Hilton will look like in thirty years (if she should be so luck). Needless to say, we loved every minute of it
For the second week in a row, Latrice Royale beat the hell out of her face and let us have it on the main stage. We absolutely love her confidence and the fact that she uses her weight to her advantage instead of as a handicap (*cough* Delta Work *cough*). Her performance in these first two episodes has made us seriously question
our initial assessment of her being one of the first few to go home.
Just in case all of the bubble-gum pink outfits on the stage weren’t enough for everyone, Lashauwn Beyond decided to take it a step further and wear the bubble gum itself. And much like bubblegum, this outfit was only cute for a taste but not for a swallow. Good luck getting that mess out of your hair.
The hot mess award for the episode goes to Dida Ritz. Her explanation for the outfit was that she was channeling Miss Carrie Bradshaw. We’re not sure if she was watching the same Sex and the City as the rest of us. Or if she was referring to parallel dimension Carrie Bradshaw, who goes warehouse clothes shopping and drinks cherry Icees with her friends up at the WalMart food court.
The Princess worked it out on the runway! With a fierce rocker-chick wig and pink girly-girl dress she showed the judges her sweet side with edge and sass. We absolutely love the Princess – she has her own style, she works it and she proves that there is room for kindness in this business.
Sharon Needles made a statement with this outfit, letting us know that although girly girl isn’t her favorite kind of drag, she can look damn good as a fishy queen too. We’re glad that she showed Ru and the viewers that she’s much more than a one-dimensional queen of the night.
While Chad and Madame Laqueer proved to be fierce competitors, winning the wresting challenge, some of the queens put us to sleep. Particularly Lashauwn Beyon-zzzzzzZzzZzzzZzzzz
Oh sorry, we fell asleep just saying her name. Point is, she was in the bottom two along with the Princess who was deemed “not aggressive enough” in this week’s challenge.
The time came for the two queens to lipsync for their lives. Fortunately for us (and all the other The Princess fans out there) Jigglypuff assumed she’d be in the bottom two again, so she unleashed her sing attack that ironically only worked on Lashauwn.
Meanwhile, The Princess did her thing and came out on top, sending Lashauwn packing.
That’s it racers! Stay tuned for our upcoming recap of this week’s Untucked!